But in the absence of tangible “you’re hurting yourself and risking life-long sorrow” reasons? Good parenting means giving your kids the tools to make good decisions, NOT making decisions for them.
EVERY SINGLE HAPPY PERSON I KNOW is happy because of independent choices – not predetermined plans foisted upon them by overbearing parents.
Every romance starts with cute texts and long calls over the phone, but not yours! Or ever looking glam when you happen to bump into your crush! You can’t even manage to get away for a romantic dinner (without basically pretending that 20 other people are accompanying you).
With your parents constantly hovering, asking who you’re talking to… You’re mostly stuck doing lunch or an early evening coffee.
You have to pretend a LOT that you’re talking to your friend “Tina”. :-( Unless, of course, you are ready to take him through the grinding session of too many questions, being cornered, and so on and so forth.
Rather than successfully freak him the hell away from him, you just don’t even bother calling him over. People drink alcohol at clubs, and alcohol equals irresponsible behaviour.
Most important is that you don’t lie to your parents or go behind their back for the guy.
If he really does like you, then he’ll understand that you’re just following your parents wishes and will still want to be friends.
Do you respect their wishes and find someone who is welcome at home and around your family, or do you follow your heart and stay with the person you love even if your parents may not attend the wedding? I’ve explored this concept before, in relation to successful women, but I think it applies to Judaism as well. If they’re intelligent, they’re likely to be opinionated.
So even with your imaginary-20-friends accompanying you, no WAY are your parents letting you go.
Now, you’ve grown up in an environment that's super-protective. The world is a scary place, and so MANY things threaten us, but please, parents, can’t you believe that my boy isn’t like that?
We have alot of teens asking as what to do if your parents won’t let you date. For example, one girl told us she isn’t allowed to date until she’s 16 (which is another 2 years)!
She’s not sure if she gets asked out if she should say no, or how to do it if she does. Or if just hanging out with a guy friend and some other people counts as “dating”.