Here's why: Because if she waited for this, she'd likely come up with another excuse later for deferring. Does that mean she should abandon her weight loss goal? But her efforts to change her life and body are not mutually exclusive from efforts to meet people, nor do they have to be sequential. Dating is a process and it's ongoing, and there's no better time to start than now. The idea that you should "work on yourself" before you start dating is what I call living in the future perfect tense. This notion that you'll be perfect in the future is crazy -- and confers a ton of pressure on you to be the perfect weight, to look a certain way, you endeavor to connect with another person.
I reminded her that there is no set height and weight requirement here. Then, when the Future Perfect You -- ideal weight, great haircut, designer jeans -- steps out for the first time and gets rejected (which happens to EVERYONE, by the way), what then?
I come from a small-ish town in Oklahoma where we’ve never met a vegetable we couldn’t fry and the only thing more super-sized than our portions are the huge church complexes that alternate with fast-food restaurants along our roads.
So it maybe isn’t such a big surprise that by the time I graduated from high school, I weighed 260 pounds.
Yet there are certain people she refuses to spill to: her romantic dates.“It goes against everything I believe in, but the fact that I used to be heavy makes me feel vulnerable and even embarrassed,” says Blanchfield. Or that I’m always dieting and won’t be any fun—as if all I do is eat salads and work out.” (Enjoy dates, happy hours, Unfortunately, that fear was confirmed for Blanchfield on a recent first date.
A female acquaintance shouted across the bar, “I love your blog!
Or someone would approach me out of nowhere on the street and tell me not to worry about how I look; someday — when I’m ready — I’ll lose the weight.
Theodora Blanchfield, 31, a social media manager from Manhattan is proud of the fact that five years ago, she lost 50 pounds.
In fact, it’s a journey she’s publically shared in her blog Losing Weight in the City.
Now, I’ve been fairly OK with never dating: I have career/education goals and I’ve always been independent and very able to take care of myself.
Having someone romantically in my life just seemed like another thing to put on my plate. ) are married and the other 23% are in serious relationships, I thought maybe I should think about doing the whole “dating” thing.