Living, researching and writing about step-family life for over a decade, I’ve witnessed the power of words to shape attitudes and feelings. Consider a typical story: Hopeful that he is “fixing” the emotional pain he and his kids have been through, a divorced dad remarries - mostly likely, statistics tell us, before his ex-wife does.
“Wicked stepmother” can bring the most loving, self-confident woman with step-kids to her knees. Dad and his bride might feel her role is to help heal emotional scars, set the family on course, and be “another mother”.
This year I came home four times from college and he was in town every single time.
After I went back to campus each time Mom said, ‘I never get to see you!
The following list represents key “costs” and “challenges” every single-parent (or those dating a single-parent) should know before deciding to remarry.
Open wide both your eyes now and you —and your children —will be grateful later. Most people need a few years to fully heal from a ending of a previous relationship. In addition, your children will need at least this much time to heal and find stability in their visitation schedule. Dating two years gives you time to really get to know one another.
What seems like smooth sailing can become a rocky storm in a hurry.
The step-mother with good intentions often becomes a target for resentment about all the changes in their lives, and is frequently blamed for their mother’s unhappiness, too.
And everyone has strong emotions and opinions about who is involved and what the outcome might be. Here are a number of dating “best practices” for single parents: 1.
Realize that you’re not just forming a relationship; you’re creating a family.
Keep in mind —and this is very important —that dating is inconsistent with remarried life.
Even if everything feels right, dramatic psychological and emotional shifts often take place for children, parents, and stepparents right after the wedding.