Like any cross-cultural exchange, an aspie-NT marriage can be a rewarding experience or a nightmare.There isn’t a lot of self-help literature available for those of us in aspie-NT marriages, especially for aspie women married to NT men (the reverse combination is far more common).Most importantly, we’ve become very good at both adaptation and acceptance. But we’ve also found some surprising benefits to our aspie-NT partnership.Hopefully some of what we’ve learned will be helpful to other couples that have taken on the challenge of making an Aspergers-NT marriage work.For those not familiar with AS, it is a mild autistic spectrum disorder, where those afflicted can lead ‘normal’ lives, but behave in a way that is rigid and lacking in sensitivity, living up to male stereotyping – in spades.It’s no surprise then that men account for 90 per cent of AS diagnoses.
This means that many girls and women are slipping through the cracks, unrecognized for, and supported in, their unique challenges.Being married to someone with Asperger’s Syndrome is challenging. Some people might go so far as to say it’s impossible.A quick internet search on ‘Asperger’s marriage’ will turn up plenty of horror stories. There are times when the neurotypical partner may feel more like a caregiver than a spouse, especially if the aspie partner’s symptoms are severe.But if you’re in an Aspergers-neurotypical marriage, you didn’t get there by accident.You’ve made a deliberate choice to share your life in what is essentially a cross-cultural partnership.